This post describes the art of being unbothered, and how to adopt a healthier mindset. I describe the reasons why people tend to involve themselves in others lives, and provide steps to start living a more unbothered lifestyle.
Through this article, I will be providing some hard truths that are important for growth. Understand that tough love is necessary to become the highest version of yourself, and you will only get that from someone who wants the best for you.
Why Do You Care?
It is common for people to involve themselves in the lives of others, participate in drama, and care about what people think. There are plenty of different reasons for this, but none of these outcomes make you happier or better than anyone.
Why do you care?
Why do you care what anyone thinks about you? Not sure? Why do you care how someone else decides to live their life? There is no good reason to fill your mind with thoughts of what others are doing or thinking. Read further to learn why we do this, and how to become unbothered.
Have you ever gone to the grocery store while hungry? You prepared a list, but as you walk through the aisles, foods catch your eye that are not on your list. You become so distracted that you forget half of the items you need, and walk out with random things that looked good to you at the moment.
This grocery store analogy is very similar to getting caught up in other peoples lives. If you do not fulfill and satisfy yourself, you get distracted from your original goal and reach for things that feel good in the moment, but are not good for you.
Reasons You Care
- Some people just like the drama
- Want to compare yourself to others
- Boredom/Would rather judge others than look within yourself
- Unhappy within yourself/Projection
- Want to fit into society
The Art of Being Unbothered
So, you realized you care about what others think and do more than you thought. You’ve completed the first step! Being aware of this issue is a stride in the right direction toward the art of being unbothered.
How to Be Unbothered
Use these steps to become more unbothered in your daily life. As you practice this, you will see yourself developing into a better mindset and higher version of yourself. You will care less about what everyone else is doing, and allow yourself to enjoy life to the fullest.
1. Fix yourself
The number 1 reason why people judge and get involved in others business is because they have issues to fix within themselves. Understand that learning, evolving, and fixing yourself is part of life. Although it is difficult to face your inner demons, you cannot grow without addressing them. Start by fixing the things you don’t like about yourself one by one.
2. Work on Being Independent
Being independent is a core life skill to develop. It is much easier to rely on someone than to face things alone. However, choosing the hard route will make you a stronger, more resilient individual in most scenarios. The more independent you are, the less involved you have to be in other people’s business. This is another example of focusing on inner-self work.
3. Brush It Off
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. If you do not agree with someone, just brush it off. If someone’s lifestyle bothers you, brush it off. I’m sure they think your lifestyle is whack too. Try your best to embrace your differences with people, and understand they do not have to always be the same.
4. Disengage
Disengaging from drama and problems is the best thing you can do for your mental health. Understand that people don’t always need to hear you out, and you can agree to disagree. Engaging in drama and conflict is detrimental to everyone involved. The more you disengage, the less drama you will follow you.
5. Change Your Perspective/Stop Comparing
Success is subjective. Your idea of success could be completely different than someone else’s. You may value money, while another values freedom or experiences and vice versa. Comparing yourself to others is invalid considering their path is completely different than yours. Just because they succeed at something now, does not mean you won’t when your time is right.
6. Practice the “5” rule
This is a simple way to stay focused on yourself and keep drama and conflict out of your life. If the issue will not matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes thinking about it. This may be difficult at first, but will get easier the more you practice.
7. Find a Purpose
The best way to become unbothered is to worry about yourself! Find something to work toward. Try something new. Start a new hobby. Read a new book. Do whatever makes you happy and gives you purpose!
8. Know Your Control
It is important to understand what you can control. Truthfully, you can only control yourself and your actions. You cannot control how other people think or act, but you can control how you react. Be conscious of this, as it is easy to fall into control issues in friendships and relationships which can cause unnecessary stress. Try to remind yourself that everything happens for a reason, and you do not need to figure everything and everyone out.
9. Stop Procrastinating
Procrastination plays a big part in involving yourself in others business. You may choose to focus on what everyone else is doing rather than what you need to do. If there is something that needs to be done, get it over with. It isn’t just going to go away, and you’ll have to do it eventually. Just get it done now.
The Art of Being Unbothered: Moving Forward
So what if you are living in a way someone else wouldn’t. So what if someone is living in a way you wouldn’t. The beautiful part of life is that everyone is free to live however they want. The more you realize everyones path is different, the more you can focus on yours.
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